Dredd Battle Report: Fatties vs Renegade Robots

Welcome to our first Dredd battle report! Today we have an epic clash between mounds of corpulent flesh and rusted heaps of metal, as Lard Core! takes on The 404s.

Lard Core

Led by their lead singer, the porcine Odious Grubstake, Lard Core! is an epic new band of gargantuan proportions. Accompanying him are his stage manager, Big Daddy, his brother Lil' Jeffry, and a mob of unruly, though totally devoted fans.

Odious Grubstake: Fattie, Level 1 Hero (+1 Move, +1 Agility)

• Chainsaw, double-barreled stump gun, leathers
• Skills: Ablative Citizens, Hell no!

Big Daddy: Fattie Minion

• Leathers

Lil' Jeffry: Fattie

• Spit pistol

The Raving Fans: 5 Fat Fans in a Mob

• Handguns

The 404s

Led by their renegade leader Tom Servo Droid, the 404s are a rag tag bunch of bots. Not afraid to get dirty, and certainly not afraid of the ladies, you better watch yourself in a dark alley or these guys might just knock your block off.

Tom Servo Droid: Servo Droid, Level 1 Hero (+1 Agility, +1 Shoot)

• Droid armour, spit gun, knife
• Skills: Accurate, Crack Shot

Folder: Junkbot, level 1 Hero (+1 Agility, +1 Melee)

• Axe, antique revolver
• Skills: Luck of Grud, Dirty Fighting

Art: Servo Droid

• Spit Pistol

Rupert: Servo Droid

• Long rifle

Travis: Junkbot

• Double-barreled stump gun

Mr. Medic McCoy: Mini-bot

• Handgun

Dusting Ms. Daisy: Mini-bot

• Handgun

DJ Roomba: Mini-bot

• Knife

Deployment

The Robots deploy first, taking a central position around some cover, creating a kill zone in the middle of the board for all their firepower. The Fattie's deploy second and take up a 3-pronged approach, to capitalize on the Line of Sight blocking terrain, and the Fattie's deceptive speed thanks to their belly wheels.

Turn 1

Winning the roll off for turn 1, the fatties trample full speed up the flanks, scoring 9's for their additional belly wheel movement, rocketing them each a total of 17" up the sides of the board. Luckily there were some clear channels to move through, as their unstable wheels only shoot them forward in straight lines. Meanwhile Odious and his fans took a more defensive position behind a barricade, which thankfully kept Odious from rolling out into the open.

The robots feeling the thunderous approach of the fatties wastes no time opening fire! The mini bots move into a forward position to act as meager speed bumps. In his high up position, Rupert takes aim at Lil' Jeffry with his rifle and wounds the behemoth, the first blood has been drawn! Art carefully advances as well, blasting away at the mob of fans, who, despite being behind a wall end up losing 2 of their number.

Turn 2

With the smell of blood (and probably a few other things) in the air, the fatties on the flank power forward still. In the center of the board, Odious and his fans forsake a defensive position for the opportunity to try and take down a mini bot with their handguns, but have no effect.

Tom Servo Droid, in a fantastic spot behind a barricade opens fire with his spit gun at Big Daddy, and though he is massive, the car he used as cover absorbed the bulk of the firepower, leaving Big Daddy only taking 1 point of damage. Art, clearly enjoying the loud noises his gun makes took aim at Lil' Jeffry barreling down on him, causing another point of damage. Travis, unsure of which threat was most important goes into Alert Status, waiting for the fatties to make their move.

Turn 3

The fatties are moving in for the squashing! Jeff charges into Mr. Medic McCoy, but that triggers Travis's proximity sensors and gets critically blasted by his stump gun. In combat, the severely wounded Lil' Jeffry takes a bite at Mr. Medic, but utterly misses, while the tiny robot performed a bit of botched surgery, taking Lil' Jeffry down to his final wound, but also pushing him away an inch. The last remaining fat fan and Odious charge into Folder and Dusting Miss Daisy. With a feat of might, the fat fan gets a critical hit on Folder, though Folder gets right back up after shedding what appeared to be a shiny metal ass, noting critical to his function. Meanwhile, lets all hold a moment of silence for Dusting Miss Daisy... It's unclear of Odious even knew what that bump was in the road.

DJ Roomba has grown intolerant of the mess being made in his streets and sets his programming to KILL! Charging directly into the fat fan, cutting him off at the ankles... it was a mess, with little circular paths of blood centering around the mangled body of the last fat fan. With Dr. McCoy now a safe distance from Lil' Jeffry, Tom Servo Droid picks his new target and mows him down, sending bits of lard, muscle, and pizza everywhere. With Tom's second volley he aims at Odious, who in a shockingly deft maneuver, stuns the audience with his dance-like dodging. Not impressed by the act, Folder and Rupert both take aim at Odious, but fail to land a single hit.

With only 2 models left on the board, Lard Core! passes both of their Will To Fight checks, refusing to give in while there's still the possibility of finding some food!

Turn 4

Both fatties are now enraged, Big Daddy charges into Travis, and in what seemed like a shower of sparks and metal flakes, Travis gets back up from the wreckage, only having lost some unnecessary salvage. Odious on the other hand, take a look at art, starts running and KRUNCH! Art was no more.

DJ Roomba, still out for blood charges into Big Daddy, causing another point of damage with his knife, followed in suit by Mr. Medic, who causes yet another point of damage. Not wanting to miss out on a good fight, Folder swings his axe, though Big Daddy attacks first, bashing Folder to pieces for a final time. Tom Servo Droid, seeing the now open Odious takes aim and fires with everything he's got, though thanks to some incredible luck (and my capacity for rolling 9's), Odious once again is missed by every shot!

Turn 5

Picking an easy target, Odious runs (rolls) to save his belly-buddy, squashing DJ Roomba. Big Daddy fights back at Travis, though the robot's tough armour doesn't give in and the fatty fails to cause any damage.

Still trigger happy, Tom Servo Droid once again fires at Odious's elephantine form, causing horrendious damage, leaving him with a single hit point left. Using all the might of his little frame, Travis manages to push Big Daddy back in combat, freeing up some distance to use his shotgun, points it at Odious and with a final shotgun blast, fells the mighty beast. With only Big Daddy left, Mr. Medic takes aim with his shaky robot hand, recounting his time served in the Robot Wars, and unleashes a single critical shot, blasting Big Daddy's brains across the pavement.

Victory to the 404s!

I guess size isn't everything!

I really can't recommend this game enough, the rules are very simple to learn, and there is a ton of variety to the game, with over 16 playable factions, plus full campaign rules. You can easily adapt your Necromunda miniatures to the game, or get some of the really fun sculpts from Warlord. The best thing is that the universe is totally bloody and wacky, you can clearly see what comics the early GW writers were using for inspiration for 40k. If you and your friends like campaign skirmish games, you owe it to yourselves to try this one out.

This will also be my only post this week and next, as I'm off to get married! I'll see you guys again on August 17th!